1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A cool day, gray and rainy, at home with K, curled up with a book and a warm coffee each (mocha for her, latte for me) with Gus between us and B.B. at our feet. A close second: a cool-yet-sunny autumn afternoon, B.B. on the leash, light jacket on, iPod in my pocket as I listen to the latest whatever, we walk for miles along a trail in our favorite park, and every once in a while she looks up at me for a sign of my approval, which I'm all too eager to give.2. What is your greatest fear?
Depths. Isn't that odd? When I think about what would really put me in a panic, that's it. And by that I mean: if I were floating in the middle of the ocean, miles from shore, not even within eyesight, the fathoms beneath my kicking feet, the unknown depths and whatall lurked down there, would be my biggest concern. Not drowing. I guess Jaws really did a number on me.3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Thoughtlessness. As hard as I try, I sometimes still forget to think of others.4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Vanity. Or self-absorption. Sometimes the two go hand-in-hand.5. Which living person do you most admire?
Tough call. I find that you've got to be dead for a while before I can really appreciate your contribution to the world. A few years ago I would have said Kurt Vonnegut, but he's left us. I was hoping Obama would be someone to admire, but he's fallen short. I'm constantly amazed (and/or amused) by Jon Stewart, but that's just cheating. So I'm going to have to bring it a little closer to home and say, K. Don't need to give a reason. She's just the best person I know.6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Our library. We own more than I could read in my lifetime, though I'm always trying to catch up. And we never stop adding to the collection. Pretty soon we'll need a bigger house to hold them all.7. What is your current state of mind?
Nervously optimistic.8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Patience. Everybody talks about how great it is, blah blah blah. If you ask me, sometimes it's better to get off your butt and take some action.9. On what occasion do you lie?
When I'm in a conversation that needs a little spicing up. When I'm talking to someone self-absorbed to the point that he/she feels my only role in the conversation is to absorb all of the brilliance they have to shower me with. Or when I'm bored.10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I'd like to lose a few pounds.11. Which living person do you most despise?
It's a toss-up between T and MJ.12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Humility.13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Sense of humor. Really. A funny woman is a seriously attractive woman to me. Although I do like Mike Meyer's response to that question: "I know everyone always says sense of humor, but I'd really have to go with breast size."14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Parentheses. Not really a word or phrase, but if you look through my writing, you'll see an over-abundance of these: ( )15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
K16. When and where were you happiest?
Summer of 2002. The year K and I were building our first home back in Kansas City. We'd lived in an apartment up until that point, and we decided (perhaps a bit prematurely, in retrospect) that we would probably be sticking around for a while, so we dumped all of our savings into building a new home. We drove out there every day and watched it go from a hole in the ground to the house we picked out, fixtures and all. This was just before people in my life who I thought I could trust turned otherwise and still a few years before my job handed me a barrel of lemons and we moved across the country to try to make lemonade.17. Which talent would you most like to have?
I'd love to play the piano really well. I used to tinker around a bit, but never to the point of being good. Haven't played in years, and I really miss it.18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My memory. I've got a terrible memory for some things. Dates, names, specific figures. I really struggle. I do great with stories, anecdotes, events, things like that. But if you introduce yourself to me, I'll have forgotten your name in under a minute.19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Escaping from Chicago, marrying K, and picking out Gus from the shelter. Top three right there. I can't take credit for B.B. She was K's choice.20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Myself, same as before, but with the knowledge I have of the first time around. I'd like to do some things differently.21. Where would you most like to live?
Seattle.22. What is your most treasured possession?
After Beckett.23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Seeing loved ones suffer and not being able to do anything to help.24. What is your favorite occupation?
Writer.25. What is your most marked characteristic?
Sarcasm.26. What do you most value in your friends?
Loyalty.27. Who are your favorite writers?
Vonnegut, Auster, Boyle (TC), Pynchon, Wallace (DF), Eggers, Irving (J), Eco... really too many to name. That's just what popped off the top of my head.28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Owen Meany.29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I don't. I've never thought about it, and thinking on it now, nothing at all comes to mind.30. Who are your heroes in real life?
Firemen. Those guys are awesome.31. What are your favorite names?
Anything Shakespearean.32. What is it that you most dislike?
(Besides depths?) Conceited fools. And mushrooms.33. What is your greatest regret?
Not doing things out of fear and cowardice or maybe just not being quick enough to react. This could be something as simple as not asking out the girl I had a crush on back in high school because I was too shy. But as I've gotten older, I've hesitated in some situations where I wish I had been faster to react. For example, K and I witnessed something shocking a few years back. While waiting at a red light behind an old, beat-up car, we noticed - in fact we could almost hear - the guy in the driver's seat yelling at the woman in the passenger seat next to him. Or maybe it was the other way around. Anyway... they were a younger couple, probably around our age at the time, and they were really making a ruckus. Suddenly he reared back with his fist and punched her three times on her arm. In my mind's eye, I replay the scene and I can see the car rock a little each time at the force. We were stunned and didn't know what to do or say or even think. And then the light turned green and they sped off, turning left as we were going straight. To this day, I wish I had the wherewithal to have done something to help her, but I still don't know what. These are the regrets I have, so I try hard not to be afraid too speak to the girl (which is how I ended up with K) and to think fast enough on my feet to always do the right thing.34. How would you like to die?
Without leaving anybody alone.35. What is your motto?
Something my grandfather told me once, that's always stuck with me: in life, it's the things you don't do that you'll regret the most. (See #33 above.) So my motto is sort of the inverse of that statement. Do the things you feel strongly about (stand up, speak out, take action), regardless of your fears or insecurities, especially when they define the person you want to be, because you will regret not doing them later.
